When You Haven’t Slept in 4 Nights…

We go through seasons with Abi’s sleep. Sometimes we hit a groove where we’re sleeping through the night and every evening is a breeze.

We are not in one of those seasons.

For the last 4 nights I’ve been brought to my feet by screams in the middle of the night (which does wonders for your nervous system) and then spent the next 5-6 hours getting our girl to go back to bed. It’s not that she’s scared or that she’s even in pain for that long- I think it’s her belly that wakes her up and then after I vent her (a technical term for relieving gas pain through the g-tube— FEEDING TUBE BONUS) she’s just up.

Last night she was in bed ready to sleep at 7:00pm. (Oh sweet hallelujah.) But then at 7:15 we needed to be vented. Then we were happy, but wired until 11:30pm. Not a great time for a 5 year old to fall asleep before a big morning of feeding therapy and a whole day of school- but alas- it would still be 7 hours of sleep. Then at 2:30 she’s screaming. After 2 hours of problem solving painful stomach issues- there we were together in the dark living room, cozy with the fire going, puppies by our side, happy, relieved, and comfortable — but with no signs of sleep. Eventually- I just made a comfy pallet for Abi and laid down next to her. This is so much easier than going to bed and wondering if I’ll be getting up again. She danced and laughed and talked while I closed my eyes.

At 6:30 I got up and gave her meds- while she was still laughing at every sound I made, like we were just hysterical for being up while the sun was rising- and then eventually – around 7:00am (??) – she fell back asleep. Just in time for feeding therapy and school!

Alas- both of those were canceled bc a 5 year old girl on 3 hours sleep is not a good recipe for a full day of work.

Tonight I may try the melatonin again. In the past- it wasn’t a great solution for us, but it’s time to revisit it.

Meanwhile- I’ve got an iced coffee with my name on it and a Gilmore Girls Marathon and a Large Delivery Pizza in my future. Because #selfcare.

To all my non-sleeping mamas- carry on and God speed.